Independent Story of the Year

hey-- how do you do a LJ cut? Some help please before I post a very long entry

Thanks <3

I'm going to make this journal friends only, seeing that most of my entries are posted in this fashion, anyway. If you want to keep on reading the random crap that is my life, you'd better get in contact with me so I can add you as a friend.

Thanks~

happy birthday livejournal-- i've had you for 1 year today. woohoo!

Gotta love my new neighbors, partying all hours of the night. They don't sleep, they don't work, they never even do as much as LEAVE their place. I know this because I hear shitty rap music loud enough that I could tell you all the lyrics. And they scream and bitch at one another. I'm trying to SLEEP and can someone tell me who has a loud fucking party in an apartment complex at 12:25am?

Hopefully the cops will tell them that NO one does. Yes I called the cops on them. This has been going on EVERY night for the past 5 days since they moved in and I'm sick of it.

I hope those bastards get kicked out quicker than you can say "Keg's here!"

'Cause, I need to get some fucking sleep. Unlike them, I actually have somewhere I need to BE tomorrow.

so many psychos... so little time.

Where are all the NORMAL people?

Written prematurely... or maybe not. Bleh. Either way, enjoy...

back to her bed

i was mad at him
cause he didn't give me any answers
that would satisfy this need
i was screaming and kicking
as he shoved me away
and he went back to her bed
i wanted to know
i was dying to know
what wasn't good enough in me

sure she may be pretty
and she'll squirm in your bed
screaming your name
but what about
all the things you said
oh the things you promised me
she might pull her hair
and wear her clothes revealing
but i cared
oh i genuinely cared

so i'm 20 now
and things are changing
and all i can think of
is you how you didn't call
to wish me the best
when you said you really cared
oh what is it in her
that is so appealing
is it her enticing stare
those pretty little fingers
the instability
that drags you down
the neediness
the greed
the fact that she squirms in your bed
oh i enjoyed you too much
held you within me too much
oh it just couldn't have been

but oh, what i wouldn't give to be her

Hot internet boy forgot who I was the next day. So sad and degrading. After finding out who I was, he then proceeded to send me a link to some chick he has a crush on. Gag me, people are such assholes.

So that republican gutter punk friend that I had... yeah he *had* a girlfriend. The one I made out with... erm, he and his girlfriend broke up. I feel like shit because I wonder if his cheating ways were the end of it and therefore I had some doing in it. I haven't even talked to him in a week, but I've been keeping up with his life through myspace. She's PISSED...which I understand. Gah, I hate people. You can't trust anyone, and it seems like everyone is out to hurt you in relationships.

I think I should tell her that... actually, I *would* but I'm going to stay out of it and hope that they broke up over different reasons.

GT and Lennie are getting it on. At least *someone* seems to have some luck finding someone else. But they're frogs. I wish I was a frog.

My frog Cletus got sick. I took him to the vet on Friday in hopes to help him. He didn't even seem to be that sick, but I was informed otherwise. Turns out he had a horrible bacterial infection and was given a 20% chance of living. I freaked out, but knew I had to do what it would take to help him. The vet also told me there was a good chance that Sacramentoad (Cletus' cagemate) could have gotten the same bacterial infection.


I separated them, however Sacramentoad already had a sore on her. I was horrified that she would get sick also. I gave her the same treatments I was giving Cletus and hoped for the best.

Sadly, that wasn't enough. When I woke up this morning Cletus had passed away. I had failed him, but I am determined not to fail Sacramentoad. She seems to be responding to the medication much better. I hope she will be okay.

Savannah and I went to the river to lay Cletus to rest. I have never been to the river before. It made me realize why I left Southern California--I crave natural beauty. To see the trees, the water... the history, everything! I am definetely going to visit the river more often.

Granted our outing to the river was not one marked with lively intentions, we encountered a lot of death while we were there. First we saw a dead beaver. I didn't even KNOW that beavers lived in Sacramento. We poked it with a stick for a second trying to figure out what killed it, but we couldn't figure it out.

And then there were all the bones. There were tons of fish remains... and then the random bones. We couldn't figure out what kind of bones they were. Human, perhaps? Lol. Regardless, it was an interesting outing.

I am so exhausted, I need to sleep.

I eat too much pizza and I'm gonna look like a blimp if I keep it up. Blah.

I got my nails done today. That was goode, but what happened next wasn't good.

I was sitting in Glippy messing with my makeup, when someone tapped on my car door. Remembering that Eclipse's are the #1 most stolen car in Sacramento, I immediately locked my doors and looked up.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked.

I recognized this fellow from somewhere, but where?

I then saw him pull out a brochure for magazines from his pocket. Goddamnit! This fool had already propositioned me, and now he's in the parking lot for Ross/Marshalls/the nail place. I guess that explains why I've gone over a week without dealing with these fuckers, they've moved.

I DON'T WANT ANY MOTHERFUCKING MAGAZINES

Blargles.

So anyway, my trip to So Cali got shot to shit. I'm spending my weekend here, and I feel conflicted about it. It's good that I can stay here, because above all else, I don't know that I'm ready to go back. I have a lot I need to figure out. Yet, am I really figuring anything out? I've failed to even make an acquaintance at school, but I've made an enemy! Typical Lindsay behavior I suppose. I'm quickly becoming a hermit. I don't know how to make friends at school. Fraternaties/Sororities scare me. My vapid lab partners bore me.

My essay was picked by my english teacher as the model essay. This *must* count as something. At least my grades have improved, even if it's at the cost of a social life. At least I have Michelle because she rocks! Hopefully she can help prevent my hermit transformation.

When did internet people become so boring?

You Are Avril Lavigne! A bit hardcore on the outside... But sweet and sensitive on the inside. "It's a damn cold night Trying to figure out this life" Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Went to the bathroom at school today. As I was washing my hands, I noticed that somebody left their hand lotion. Hmm... I picked it up and examined it. It was not hand lotion, however. It was udder cream... for cows? "For the dry udders!" Wha? Am I missing something? Is this like the name of a new kind of hand lotion that I've never heard of... or is there really udder cream?

I am in my own little world.

Hurrah!

I can't sleep.

And I need to do important shit tomorrow.

That's probably why I can't sleep.

*Whines*

i think i'm a slut *whines*

So I'm walking to class and this dude comes up to me.

"Hey! What's up?"

I blink. "Going to class."

"Oh, how much fun! What class?"

Are people in Sacramento really this friendly, or are they just quite sneaky? "Bio..."

"You a biology major?!"

"No... a Governmental Journalism major."

"OH MY GAWD, ME TOO!!!"

I blinked again. When I went to orientation the adviser mentioned how there were like 6 students majoring in that in the whole school. 6/30000, what are the chances? Not good. I was incredibly skeptical as to why he was talking to me at this point. "You are?"

"Yes! And see, that's why I want to talk to you..." oh no. "For my advanced communications class, I need to go around trying to..."

"Sell magazines, right? You're trying to sell me magazines."

He stopped talking for a second and looked oddly at me. I had blown his cover. "Uh... yeah."

Not as smooth as your buddy who talked to me last night, eh? "Someone came up to me last night. I've never taken a class that required me to go around and sell shit."

"Uh... ok..." He looked down at his shoes. I kind of felt bad for him. "Don't suppose you want to hear what I have to say..."

"No. I don't want magazines," and I walked away. I know it was bitchy, but one feels this way when the only people who talk to you want you to throw your money away. Besides, I have already cracked their selling code. I can smell them a mile away, those bastards.

I'm going to fuck with the next one who approaches me. Fucking magazines.

MassiveTidalWave: oh lord i think im going to be sick
friend: why?
friend: wat?
MassiveTidalWave: well i met a guy last night and we ended up making out i thought he was cool but he has a girlfriend i think
friend: haha!
friend: ..you only made out with him?
MassiveTidalWave: i know a first for me :-X
friend: *blink*
friend: now i really wanna meet you..j/k
MassiveTidalWave: blaah

So I'm leaving class today and this dude comes up to me. He's all: "Oh my GAWD I LOVE GOOD CHARLOTTE!!"

"You do?!" I was excited. Mind you I was also wearing my Good Charlotte sweatshirt, it was amazing that someone came up to me to tell me their love for GC.

"Oh yes, they're awesome. Hey I need to do a survey for one of my classes, care to help a fellow Good Charlotte fan?"

"Sure!"

"Okay, follow me over to the benches!"

I did so and sat down next to his fellow. He told me his name but I forgot it. He asked me where I lived.

"I used to live in Thousand Oaks but I just moved here..."

"Thousand Oaks? I LOVE Thousand Oaks! I go riding there EVERY WEEKEND!"

"You drive 400 miles to go riding?" I should have asked WHAT it is he rides in Thousand Oaks. I was now skeptical of what this guy was doing.

"Uh... yeah, of course... it's just that cool in Thousand Oaks."

I quirked my eyebrow.

So he got back to his little speech. He told me about how he was trying to gain these points so he could go to London. I knew this had NOTHING to do with his class. "Okay, what are you trying to sell me?"

He was taken back. "Well see... I just need 200 more points and I've got me that trip..." he pulled out a catalog filled with magazines I could order.

Ugh.

I told him that I was broke and got up and walked away.

Blah. No male loves Good Charlotte... or drives 400 miles each weekend to go "riding" in Thousand Oaks. And it's going to bug me, wondering what it is that he "rides" in Thousand Oaks...

I went to karaoke tonight, and got lost on the way back, like severely lost. It took me an hour just to find my way to the freeway, and then I got lost AGAIN. It took me an hour and a half to get where I am right now, but I really don't care. There was something about just driving that eased my nerves-- I'm 400 miles away from my problems. That thought really sunk in today. Sacramento is still my safety zone. I really don't know anyone here yet, and I've yet to make any enemies. No drama or anyting has been created here. I am safe.

I need to clean up my place, it's getting quite messy. I'm not a clean person, what can I say?

There's a lot I need to sort through in my mind. I need to learn how to better myself and the way things are. That's what I'm using Sacramento for. I'm going to learn how to be happy.

Go me

I was making dinner. Yes it's late but I need to eat. I don't think I even had a meal today.

Anyway, I heard a weird noise coming from the outside. I took a peek and realized that it was raining.

Being dumped sucks. But looking outside to find that it's dark and pouring seems to be more than fitting.

One day I'll get it right. I promise.

Phew... I just spent the past 3 hours organizing my CD and DVD collection. I have under 100 DVDs, so that part wasn't much of an accomplishment... but the CDs? I have over 1000, and at least 700 have their cases with them (perhaps more, I'll count in the morning errr... afternoon).

I made a friend. Go me! Her name is Michelle. She is awesome. She's never been to Southern California (gasp!) and over the summer I'm gonna give her a crash course on the necessities that everyone needs to know about So Cali... including:

*Santa Monica
*Venice Beach
*Thousand Oaks/Ventura County tour (I'm obligated to show her how I became as fucked up as I am today)
*My beach
*City Walk
*That 5 story mall in San Diego
*Sunset

She's not big on amusement parks, which makes this crash course MUCH more affordable. This will be fun!

My back is killing me.

I will post more later.

And I'm certain that *none* of you doubt this...

*wonders if the person they're meant for will actually read this*

Alanis Morissette
"Precious Illusions"

you'll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in

you'll complete me right? then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right? only when you realize the gem I am?

but this won't work now the way it once did
and I won't keep it up even though I would love to
once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim

these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was defenseless
and parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water

but this won't work as well as the way it once did
cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim

these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode